Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
