how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
