TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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