Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
