If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
