Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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