i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
