I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
