best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
