Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
