I look better un-naked...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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