There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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