Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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