i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
