All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
organizing the empties. That sober.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
