The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
