I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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