I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
