i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize