Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
