bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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