Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
