im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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