didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
