You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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