dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Randomize
