Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize