We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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