Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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