just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
