Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Green mimosas i think yes
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
