Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
