i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
