He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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