Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I need moral support for this bender
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
