I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
