my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
