Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
