Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
handjob tips. give me some.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
