5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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