is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
