I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
