i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
did i just pee glitter
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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