i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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