He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
