i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
