Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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