If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
