it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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