So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
