If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
two words...techno handjob
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
