is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
