i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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