We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
