My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
