Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
