A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
