it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
